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For the deeply wounded, forgiveness may be a process. We may satisfy the Lord's command when, by as act of our will, we forgive, byt being healed grom the effects of what was done to us may require forgiving at deeper levels emotionally. This may be a longer term work of the Holy Spirit.

Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. -- Luke 23:34

That we, as Christians, need to forgive is beyond question. Over and over again, the words of Jesus make that so clear.

That it is often difficult to forgive -- especially where there has been deep wounding -- is also quite obvious. So many of the people who come to us for ministry struggle for years and years to forgive, perhaps an inadequate parent, perhaps someone who molested them.

The words of Jesus from the cross to those who were mocking, torturing and killing Him can help us with our struggle to forgive, because they came from the humanity of Jesus. He did not say, "I forgive you," for on the cross He had forsaken His divin- ity. He was totally identified with us, and praise God, through His wonderful grace, we can identify with Him.

Before looking at Jesus' example of forgiveness, let me share something I believe is critical in coming to forgiveness, particularly where an offense has left deep and lasting wounds. We forgive at three levels.

First, we choose to forgive at the level of the will. We do so in response to God's commandment, and that choice must be without conscious reservation to the extent possible.

Second, we forgive with the mind -- that is with understanding. My father suffered severe mental problems for most of my life. He could scarcely cope with life himself, much less attend to raising sons. I understood this and it helped me to forgive.

Finally, we also forgive with the heart -- the seat of our emotions -- and this is the great barrier for many of us. We choose to forgive; we see why there is reason to forgive; and then the offender, or someone of the same sex, or class, or someone in a similar role, does something that touches our unhealed wound, and the fury and rage burst forth. We find that we really have not forgiven.

I used to advise people that if they chose to forgive -- in the will -- then the requirements of the law had been [met] and they would not be held accountable for their deeper unforgiveness. I now think this was wrong counsel. It divides us up into parts (body, mind, emotions, etc.) in a way that is not consistent with the way God sees us. We are a unity; we have a center of our being, and from that center -- from the heart -- forgiveness must come, or we have not truly forgiven.

For most of us, in areas of deep wounding, forgiveness will be a process. It will take time for forgiveness to reach the heart. It was not so for Jesus. He obviously willed to forgive those who crucified Him. Unlike us, though, He saw clearly into the hearts of the offenders, and He knew for certain that they did not know what they were doing Such depth of insight could be a long time coming for us. Additionally, because of His absolute sinlessness, He could forgive from the heart at the very moment of His most unspeakable suffering. In our sinful nature, it is so difficult for us to get our eyes off our pain, even the pain that was inflicted 20 or 30 years ago. Often that pain justifies our whole way of approaching life.

For us, true forgiveness can be so difficult; the obstacles so formidable. But if Jesus was tempted in every way as we are, then surely the obstacles that make forgiveness so difficult for us, were present to Him. Let us look to the cross and see how Jesus could forgive.

First of all, His words indicate that He did not assign evil motivations to his offenders. Rather than declaring them cruel, sadistic or power hungry, He said that they did not know what they were doing. Perhaps He knew that they thought they were doing what was right to preserve order. For one of us whose father was not really a father, we attribute his failure to selfishness, or ambition, or even a desire to hurt, when the truth may be -- and usually is -- that he was the best father he knew how to be, but not having been fathered himself, "he knew not what he was doing".

Secondly, Jesus did not believe His forgiveness was condoning the act of His crucifixion. How often we fear that if we forgive, we send a message that the act was not harmful. This is simply not true, and is such a lie, that it must come from the father of all lies. Christian forgiveness does not send such a message. When terrible harm has been done, and true forgiveness comes forth, the contrast between the glory of God and the ugliness of sin can be almost blinding. Who believes that when Corrie Ten Boom forgave the Nazi guard who killed her sister that she condoned his terrible act? No, her forgiveness gave glorious evidence of the power of good over evil.

Finally, as we hear the words of Jesus from the cross, we see that He left the ultimate judgement to the Father. The words of Jesus showed the forgiveness from His heart, but in His human form, He left the final judgement to the Father. The true opposite of forgiveness may not be unforgiveness, but judgement. How diffficult this can be. A person who was sexually molested as a youn~ child cannot dismiss the horrible offense with the belief that the offender did not know what he was doing. He or she cannot ascribe to the offender even the possibility of a good motive. The only thing we can do is to yield to God the final judgement and penalty for the sin. Perhaps our demand that we hold onto the role of judge lies at the heart of the sin of unforgiveness.

For the deeply wounded forgiveness may be a process. It may require the supernatural intervention of the Holy Spirit. As with all things, forgiveness begins ~nr1 ~n~l.c ~t th~ ~rn~.~ [To be completed]